Valentines Countdown: Worst First Dates
No matter who you are, you’ve undoubtedly had some horrifying first dates. Be it you doing something utterly embarrassing (ripped clothes, spilled food, tears – you get the picture) or the person you’re dating reveals themselves to be a total jerk, we’ve all been through the utter nightmare of a first date. As Channel 4’s The Undateables is currently showing, it’s never easy even if you’re a perfect match. Try and stay positive, these guys have probably had worse dates than you…
1) My date told me he wanted to take me to a restaurant out in a ritzy town that was pretty far from where I live. Less than a minute after I get in the dude’s car, he’s like, “I forgot that you lived so far out. Do you mind if we don’t go to the place I suggested?” I said no, not at all. Then he says, “Good, ’cause I don’t really feel like driving way out there and then bringing you all the way back home. I mean this is just a first date.” I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, and we went to one of my favorite restaurants. We eat and he orders two drinks. He does not pay for my meal. Then once I pay for my half and leave my tip, he puts down £20 and asks me if i have any more small notes because he doesn’t want to break his other £20. I told him to ask the waitress to change his damn £20. We leave the restaurant, and he says, “This always happens to me when I drink rum. It makes me have to pee.” We keep walking, and then I realise I’m walking by myself because he stopped to pee in the alley, right in front of me.
2) “I went on my first date after getting out of a serious two-year relationship. Guess who our waiter was? Yep. Most. Awkward. Date. Ever.”
4) I had been talking to this girl for a few weeks and she finally asked if I wanted to get together on a Saturday afternoon. I happily agreed, even when she asked me to wear a suit. I figured it was odd, but thought we were going somewhere fancy, which I was excited about. We were not going anywhere fancy at all. We were going to her aunt’s funeral. She told me she needed someone with her but knew if she told me I would’ve said no. Obviously I would have liked a little heads up on it, so I spent our entire first date meeting her weeping relatives at a funeral.
6) The girl I was really interested in asked if we could go apple picking, which is as boring as it sounds. I wouldn’t have minded boring but I was allergic to something there and my face swelled up like the Elephant Man. Imagine that scene out of Hitch, except I don’t have the charisma of Will Smith and there was no wacky sidekick. She never called me again, for some reason.
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