16 Emotions Every Gamer Has Experienced
Most people at some point in their lives have been excited about the latest release in film, book, or album. That’s no different for you gaming lovers who love a good release day don’t you?! Recognise these emotions?
There you are, lazily watching an E3 live-stream in your pants, not expecting much, when all of sudden, the house lights go down and a particular, orchestral motif starts up.
“Are they really? Are they really doing another one? Alien Mutant Hell VI?! Holy cow, yes!”
“Christmas NEXT YEAR?! I can’t wait that long.”
The hype is big, the hype is real. But it’s still a good 18 months away, so you can just about cope for now.
Fast-forward a long while. Release day is just a couple of weeks away, and you’ve been pouring over the gameplay trailers on YouTube.
A fake cough has sowed the seeds for a week’s worth of sick days, and you’re ready to lose two weeks of your life to the next Alien Mutant Hell (whooping cough if the boss asks).
The day of release is here. You’re up early, coughing down the phone to tell work that slight illness you had for the past two weeks just went feral, and you’re straight into town by the time the shutters are up on your preferred gaming outlet.
The journey home seems to take longer than usual, and you excitedly tear the cellophane wrapper from the box so violently you almost spill the precious contents to the floor.
In your excited daze you somehow forgot that they don’t really do instruction booklets anymore. It’s all online now. And your phone’s got no signal. Still, this game’s gonna be great.
You slide the disc into your console as soon as you get in, and settle down for a wild gaming session. But there’s one more roadblock to get through first: the dreaded download speeds of day one patches.
The game finally installs, and you boot it up. The opening logos are amazing, that menu is cool and…ohmygod!!
The opening set piece where you escape thousands of enemy footsoldiers as everything explodes around you is amazing.
By now you’re 10+ hours in, giving it your all, but it’s hard to ignore the fact that at this point you clipped through the map a few times, encountered game breaking bugs, and Kotaku are calling it the “worst game launch ever”.
Yeah, it’s not that great is it?
Well, it’s not quite Alien Mutant Hell III (that game was CLASSIC), but it’s OK.
But you’ve already completed all the other Alien Mutant Hells on the infamous ‘Spawn of Satan’ difficulty, and you’ll be damned if you’re going to let this unfinished conquest blight your online profile forever more.
Better stick with it. This’ll be fun. Sure it will.
It’s buggy as hell, the Alien Mutants are all stupidly overpowered, and this controller is going through my TV screen anytime soon. Even getting your buddies round for some co-op isn’t easing the rage.
Must. Finish. It.
And you did it.
After hours of ‘hard work’, The final boss has fallen, that achievement has popped, and now that completion percentage is at a nice, round 100.
Now all is said and done, you can finally pop the disc back in its box, and cart if off to the nearest second-hand shop, never to be seen again.
Like a breakup with a first love, the moment you realise you’ll never see Alien Mutant Hell again (at least not until it’s going for a quid or two second hand) is a bitter pill to swallow.
It’s for the best…
But as you’re exchanging your battered old copy for whatever the next big release is, you see someone snapping up their own, new copy.
“Good luck, kid” you mutter under your breath.
Then, six months later, you’re lying in bed again watch E3. “ALIEN MUTANT HELL VII?!”
And the circle of gaming life begins anew…
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